24 May Writing a book is unlike anything else
Writing a book is quite unlike writing anything else. QUITE.
It is like letting your brain & every other sense organ get fried in the content that you are writing.
It means you go to sleep thinking about it, and wake up with it. It means food, sleep everything else is only to keep you going, nothing more.
It means sometimes writing 1 page in 7 hrs and wondering how you were stupid enough to think you can do 1000 words in 1 hr. Until you move past the clogged parts, and suddenly end up writing 1000 words in less than an hr and feeling nothing less than a freaking hero. And then you get stuck again in the next chapter.
It means trying to digest 25 research papers & not going to sleep until you are done with it because if you sleep, you will forget everything & will need to reinvent the wheel AGAIN, the 8th time.
It means facing the limitations of your own memory, quite possibly after a long time, because you simply cannot remember all the terms, names & details.
It means doing all the rest of your work & job that much faster, better that you can allow yourself to drown in your book without worrying about sinking.
It means banging your head on 5 research software, only to discover they are all, basically, useless, and good old Word is what you gotta go with.
It means seeing no end on the horizon. It means knowing that you are probably going to fail the 10th deadline you set for yourself. So you decide to not set anymore deadlines. But then you slack off without it. So you prep yourself for failing one more deadline. You thought it won’t suck the 11th time, but it sucks 11 times more.
It means remembering an old 90s song suddenly out of nowhere, and then searching for it everywhere to listen to it, because it cannot just remain an earworm clogging your brain.
It means your phone is eternally on total silence. Anyone is lucky to get through to you. Even social media loses its hold on you.
It means getting a headache every few hours, and you have no idea why. No idea what you missed or did wrong this time, or if it is literally just the overload of information on your brain.
It means you have to dig out & create a new robust framework for yourself to finish this task you took upon yourself, because if you DON’T, no one else will.