31 Jul Developing Patience
I have always wondered what it takes to have patience…not just human patience, but I mean the kind of patience which Swamiji has, which Paramashiva has. He keeps seeing us make the same mistakes over and over again, keeps seeing us fall, keeps seeing us not live up to His words, but never gives up on us. Yet, he does not get frustrated or fed up or angry or flustered. He may show like He is angry but in reality He is doing whatever is needed to wake us up to our blind spots.
So yes, that infinite patience, which I have seen for the last 11 years…what does it take to have that? Of late I have wondered how to have patience with people. It’s not about how I respond to people or don’t respond to them. That is a superficial way of looking. I mean, when you remember people, instead of getting triggered by anger & irritation, how do you have patience with them.
And how do you have patience with circumstances which give you a rotten taste in the mouth? Which may be “temporary disappointments” but make you feel like punching someone or something? Because it is so, so wrong. It is not just about personal failure or disappointment, it is challenging because you see how this is basically going to make way for a lot of suffering, confusion and pain for a lot of people overall…how people would rather suffer than listen to reason.
So yes, while this may sound like a rant, I was actually seeking answers to these because for too long I have not had an answer, and I don’t like not having an answer to a problem. I’m not wired that way. So I had this intention for finding the answers to my questions when I went for my morning run.
My understanding was simple. The Truth is that I am Paramashiva. So if I am Paramashiva, the answer is already there, somewhere, I only need to find it, I only need to ask for it to be revealed to me. The Ultimate will simply open up the Truth inside me, because I am its extension & manifestation.
This is the answer that I got. Paramashiva has a very large vision of life, of reality. And He knows that everything is ephemeral, except His sankalpa…because we are only our intention to be. And Paramashiva Himself is eternal, beyond time. So, His sankalpa is eternal as well. In due course of time, His sankalpa is what has to manifest, and everything manifesting now is only leading up to that. Nothing is contradictory to His sankalpa. Everything is part of His sankalpa, because He is everything.
To me this translates to knowing and adding power to your sankalpa, to setting your own sankalpa, from the space of Paramshivoham, for every reality you want to manifest. So, if a person is annoying you, set the sankalpa for their transformation, which will do good to them too, apart from not irritating you. That sankalpa is what will ultimately manifest, because मम संकल्पं शिव संकल्पं अस्तु | My sankalpa is Shiva’s Sankalpa, because I am Shiva.
Patience is nothing but having a long vision of life, of yourself and of others. Not giving up your vision, is patience. And that is do-able when you are more and more in the space of Paramashivoham.
As long as you feel powerlessness, you are not being in the space of Paramashivoham. Ironing out your inner space with this truth, removing every powerlessness is what is really needed. There is always the small voice in your head which keeps saying, “But how is that possible? How will it be possible?” There is no need to deny or suppress that voice. That voice is your logic. It is not you. You are bigger than your logic. Not everything that happens around us is logical anyway! So why worry about fitting a future into your logic? It will manifest from a space beyond mere logic. Logic is just one tool to wrap your head around happenings in the world. But reality is not limited by logic. It simply is. You use your logic to assign some meaning, connotation, interpretation to life as it happens. But your logic alone is not life. Which means that the limitations posed by your logic carry no meaning in reality. Because reality is not bound by your logic anyway, it never was!
Developing patience is one way to be more in the space of Paramshivoham. Or vice versa. Developing patience means that you see people beyond their habits & beliefs. You see them for what they can be, not just what they currently are, not just what they currently believe themselves to be. Because that is what Paramashiva does.
This is a song which always reminds of the way I have always felt about being nurtured by Swamiji….which reminds me of how much He believes in my possibilities.